1:36 p.m. - Monday, May. 30, 2011
rip randy
I really dont go here much but i need an outlet. I dont feel like i have any one to talk to that wont judge. Im dating someone. And i love him and think the world of him. but he just doesnt get it. doesnt seem to understand. i do everything i can to show and prove my love and faithfulness and he turns around and want to show himself to others. first sending pictures of his penis and telling others he loves them and wants to be with them..how much he wants to cuddle with him. Then he still thinks its a good idea to keep in touch with this person. Then he decides to go to a message parlor for a happy ending. now hes sending a girl a video of him masturbation. but its ok cause he doesnt realize that these are not things u do when u love someone and are dating someone. has he really tried to earn back any of my trust no. he glosses over it like everything is ok. and im either forced to move on or not. i asked him for things just to prove that he had nothing to hide..and no he didn. this last time...i fly to him to spend some time cause i missed him so much. on my last day i decided to check his phone.i found messages to a girl. now he has no real reason why he did it. ans we tlaked about it on the 2 hour drive to the airport. and it was good. i felt better. but he one little smart comment and everthing was in the shitter. i went back and checked times and dates. and yeah. all of his excuses were just that...to cover his own ass. inside i just want to cry. he doesnt trust me. and i dont trust him. and honestly i probly will happen again and again. he is the longest relationship ive been in. and he makes me the happiest. and then this happens. and it makes me hate him. how can i be with someone i hate and cant trust. why would i? i have son now and i dont need this. yes i want him. but i want someone who truly loves me and doesnt hurt me like that. i keep thinking all couples argure. and this is our only real issue. but this is not just small issue..its a why am i not enough for u to be faithful and love me. instead u tell me u love me and we talk and have fun etc.. and then randomly u do the same to other girls. just cause what? they were something to u before.u dont trust me. i mean really grow up. ive had chances to be with others. but i had u. and i didn want them. they would n do what u did to me either. I wonder why didn i just have fun. i mean hell apparently thats what u think im doing anyways. honestly its not a bad idea. me sleeping with someone else..whats the big deal..uve hurt me enough. u might as well been with them...so why shouldn i do that to u.
